this mystery is profound

So for years I’ve heard people say this thing about marriage that goes something like “nothing will humble you quicker than marriage.”  And for years I have thought that was a really cool aspect of marriage, but one that probably would not apply to me.  Not that I already thought I was humble enough; I just thought I wouldn’t fail often enough for it to really make a difference.  In fact, as my own wedding date approached and I began to hear this sentiment more and more, I would often think “oh, that will be really good for Brandon.”  Honestly!  I don’t know who I was kidding with this arrogant, absurd, prideful, drastically flawed thinking.  But boy was I wrong. Continue reading

the hardest thing about being a newlywed

I’ve been married for three and a half months now.  It has been such a sweet time of getting to know the man I love as “husband” and learning together how to shift our relationship from dating to married.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been blissfully overwhelmed by being a wife, how often I’ve been humbled by own shortcomings, or how surprised I still am by my new last name.  Marriage has so far been a continuous and wonderful adventure, and I am so grateful for it.

Over the past few months, my new marriage is naturally what everyone wants to talk to me about. They like to shower me with wisdom and advice, for which I am grateful. But mostly, they want to ask me endless questions. They shamelessly ask me things like, “Are you glad to finally be having sex?” (Nah. A sexless relationship was SO easy to maintain for 3 years… idiots.) “Are you pregnant yet?” (Not yet…) “Oh, when are you planning to get pregnant?” (…What is wrong with you?!) But sometimes I get questions that actually warrant a response. Out of these, the most common one I’ve received is, “What has been the hardest thing about marriage so far?” Continue reading

why we’re actually gathered here today

For those of you who don’t know, I am getting married on Saturday.
What an exciting time!
Through the past year of planning and preparation, I have learned so much.  About myself.  About my future husband.  About the Lord.  But sadly, what I’ve probably learned the MOST about is planning a wedding.
I can tell you how much it costs to rent out almost every venue in the greater Austin area.  I know which ones require you to use their caterer and which ones allow you to use your own.  I know noise ordinances and fire codes.  I know the prices of things like chair rentals, photographers, and hair stylists.  I know the breakdown of every Men’s Wearhouse tux, and that for all their monopolizing they still don’t carry David’s Bridal’s “petal” pink.  If you need some useless wedding knowledge, I’m your girl.
I know all of this because there is this strange phenomenon that occurs in our country when a woman gets an engagement ring.  She is all at once stripped away from the normal rhythms of life and thrown head first into the world of weddings.
This alternate reality is one in which your stream of consciousness is filled with things like colors and programs and flowers and ribbons.  “Big” decisions are made about dresses and food and invitations, and you go to sleep at night feeling simultaneously overwhelmed and accomplished.  It’s a land of self-obsession and entitlement; it’s designed to shift reality into this idea that your entire marriage, nay, your entire existence, hinges upon this one day.  It’s YOUR day.  YOUR spotlight.  YOUR chance to shine.  After all, YOU deserve it!!
….proof of a broken world under the influence of a clever and scheming enemy. Continue reading